It was my first time going to a *BDSM/fetish club. I was curious and unsure of what to expect. Before going to the fetish club I'd met up with others (including a close girlfriend of mine) who were also going to this particular play party. The meetup (called a munch) gave us newbies an opportunity to meet each other and ask questions before we got to the play party. Conversation and clothing was casual as we sat at a diner near Hell's Kitchen. I felt very at home and comfortable with the diverse crowd at the munch. To be honest I was surprised by the diversity. I didn't know so many African Americans were interested in, and/or engaged in the BDSM lifestyle.
I walked into the fetish club with my friend, and a woman we'd met at the munch. We made our initial rounds through the space. Rope suspension, flogging, Domination, submission, humiliation, sissy maids.....there was a lot going on. The three of us settled on one room to watch, and learn. That's when he spoke to us. "Is this your first time here?". We must have looked like newbies, all wide-eyed and amazed. All 3 of us answered "Yes". He was clearly a Dom (short for Dominant), and knew where the action was at.
Throughout the evening we walked around the club, which was more like a converted apartment. He asked us questions, and we asked questions as well. Then he asked "Do you ever do public play?". My friend and I looked at each other, laughed, and said "Yeah!"
"Would you like to play?"
The question came out of left field to me. But....there was something about this man that I trusted. I'm big on paying attention to how I feel around a person. Am I comfortable? (I was) Is my guard up or down? (It was down) Am I turned on? (Hell yeah I was!). I heard myself say "Yes".
The four of us headed back to a room we were previously in. "Who wants to go first?", he asked. I looked at the other two women, they looked at me, and I said "I'll go first". I walked toward the wall which was covered by a mirror. In front of the mirror was a sturdy grid of some sort. It was designed to chain someone to it, or for someone to hold on to - which is what I did. Facing the mirror I grabbed onto the grid, excited and nervous at the same time. "You ready?", he asked. "Yes".
The first sensation I felt was a soft, gentle touch up and down my back. I relaxed. The touch continued for a few more seconds....and then.....WHACK! My ass was smacked. I sucked in a sharp breath, and exhaled with pleasure. "Was that okay?", he asked. "Yes", I said with a smile. He continued, alternating between soft caressing, slow erotic touch, and spanking my ass with vigor. It was intoxicating. It was thrilling. It turned me on in a way I'd never been turned on before. The thing is.....I've been spanked before. So why was this so different?
My erotic play has always been accompanied by intercourse. I'd never experienced impact play (spanking, flogging, etc) outside of having sex as a companion to it. I was giving as much as I was receiving. But this.....this experience....I was giving nothing. I was receiving. No strings attached. Nothing else involved. Just me receiving pleasure. It was.....freeing.
Like many women I often have difficulty receiving. Whether it be a compliment, money, or being pampered I've always felt I needed to EARN my receiving. I certainly couldn't just enjoy something without giving something first. That did not compute in my brain. Yet....here I was....at this fetish club....simply receiving....and trusting. I was allowing pleasure in my life without the need for me to return the favor. Without the expectation of anything in return. Without fear. It was beautiful.
Since that night I've opened myself up to receiving more. Especially the generosity, love, and support of others. I've allowed myself to relax into pleasure and be more present in the moment. Ironically BDSM has allowed me to be more vulnerable and open....and to trust more. I'm carrying those lessons forward into all areas of my life, and watching how it's all unfolding magnificently.
As for the gentleman at the fetish club....he and I played together for a few more months before parting ways amicably. Our relationship was fun and free. No strings. No expectations. Just play, pleasure, and freedom.
*BDSM stands for Bondage&Discipline/Dominance&Submission/Sadism&Masochism